Saturday, January 10, 2015




After a full evening of bartending as both male and female, I had some interesting observations and a WINNER of the sex battle. Now this is important to note that the bar chosen was HOOK AND CLEAVER in Greenpoint, Brooklyn. The typical crowd is 25-45 years old and are coming in for dinner and cocktails. The pricepoint average is $15 per cocktail and $50 for dinner. This is not a club environment. Also I alternated gender every hour and fifteen minutes to even out the gender representation throughout the night... for a more consistent notation. (Gender meaning as female I was higher voice, shirt showed cleavage, slight makeup and softer mannerisms... male meaning suit and tie, lower voice, heavier mannerisms no makeup.)



-I could work, without need to make conversation and no one would question me. Looking busy meant not being available for entertainment. Which also meant--- people would not stay and watch me work--- which meant higher turnover of checks and instant cash.

-Men and women trusted me to make them classic cocktails. They never asked what I was putitng into them or why I was doing them a certain way. Older men would just belly up to the bar and ask for a drink, and whatever they threw out there such as AVIATOR, GIMLET, OLD FASHIONED they  would just demand it. They would not ask me "Do you know how to make this drink?"


-If I messed up on a drink, I got a harder time. Twice I made a mistake intentionally, and both times the recipient would chew me out over it. "Whats wrong with you? Are you sure your a bartender?" or "Come on, pay attention to what you are doing!"

-My tips were small- often $1 or $2 on a $15 cocktail.

-If someone wanted something from me, they would ask directly "Hey you- can you do this?"

-Younger ladies a few times would assume that their drinks were free or would not tip at all. At one point, a girl received her dink and turned around to walk away from the bar. I had to ask her to pay me. She batted her eyes and said "Awww... but arent I worth it?"

-I tried telling a pushier customer who was teasing me about my soft voice to 'Hush and drink their cocktail." They caleld over the manager. it was ugly.



-Large tips $4 or $5 on a  $15 cocktail. Often people just left a twenty on the bar for every drink they had.

-Whenever someone asked me to do someting for them they would ask very poltiely 'If its not too much trouble could I get... please".

-Mistakes are forgiven easily. I intentially made 3 mistakes as a female, and every time the person said "Its alright! Just next time Id love the drink  actually ordered."

-I received a lot of compliments... every time I made a cocktail, people would tell me how well it was constructed as if they were surprised. Theis never happened as male.

-I received a lot of free shots ordered by both men and women, who often would get them at the end of their meals or drink experiences. Liquoring me up eh?

-If someone was rude, I could flirtatiously be like "Aww stop it, shut up and drink your cocktail." and it was considered cute and acceptable.


-People stayed at the bar. They wouldnt leave. They got their cocktails and watched me work. Even when I ignored them, they stayed..and watched. Almost every single person whop came into the establishment made a beeline for an open stool to stay at the bar instead of at a table... but they would not leave.

-Whenever an older male ordered a cocktail, they would often ask "Do you know how to make a---" as if there was a potential I might not. This did not happen as a male.

-People would flirt, which isnt such a bad thing... but it made it difficult to work. When I was busy, one guy even grumbled "What Im boring you or something? Why cant yo talk to me?"...because I working.... duh. As a Male I could appear busy and I didnt appear rude.


Well the interesting thing is that as a female, I was receiving larger tips. Including that $60 tip on a $40 ticket. However, while the tips were often much bigger... people would tend to stay at the bar to eat and watch me make cocktails. There was a high turn over, which meant while teh cheks were big they werent frequent. When it came to being a male... the tips were almost 50% less. However, people would not stay to watch me make drinks or flirt with me or hang out in general. I could appear busy without seeming rude- and that meant a higher turnover of checks.

FEMALE: $210 in tips

MALE: $340 in tips


Im the SAME PERSON.... dont I deserve the SAME money?

 What does this say about society? Leave a comment and give me your feedback!

(NOTE: This was one night, in one location, done by one person, with specific aesthetics. It does not represent all of the world or America or even Brooklyn. Nor does it represent all women or men or bars. But--- its still pretty damned neat.)


For those of you who are new to who I am, My name is Rain Dove- Rain like from the sky, Dove like the bird. I am an androgynous model and actor working both male and female roles. Outside of my professional life- I carry these gender bending capabilites into the daily activities. I like to call it GENDER CAPITALISM... which means I present myself as whichever gender gets the most out of an envionment, person, or space. Money, love, respect... I dont care if you think I have dick or a vagina... or if you think I have boobs or pecs--- what does it matter? And if it DOES matter... then I want to know why, and I want to know which gender spectrum you feel most comfortable with so I can get the most from our interactions.

In my opinion, it shouldnt matter what gender I am or how I orgasm. But even in our MODERN DAY SOCIETY it still does... and what you have between your legs can defintiely change what you have between people contractually and socially. I dont believe that only two genders exist... but for teh sake of easy conversation Ill use male/female for this writeup.)

Since I am in the unique position to be seen as both a tall dark and mysterious man... and an elegant, highend, edgy female- I decided that something bigger than fashion and film should be done with these looks. I want people to see the way we treat others based on gener, based on perception, based on silly anatomy and hormones. So, I have begun conducting social experiements to determine the TRUE battle of the sexes these days.


Instagram: @raindovemodel
Twitter: raindovemodel


  1. I found this experiment intriguing and am happy to see the results. I did not have an opinion on which gender would prevail but i was shocked to see that the male version of you earned more tips. ive been following your journey and appreciate you allowing the public into your world. It takes a lot to be so open. I wrote a book some years ago called London Reign. My pen name is AC Britt. Its about an androgynous teen.

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  2. It's so great that you can do these experiments! How many people can truly walk in the shoes of a different gender? It would be interesting to try it in a gay bar, or as an attractive and unattractive person.

    I wish we could just do away with tipping and pay people a fair wage.

  3. I love this so much. Keep it up, Rain. You are truly inspiring.

  4. Great comments, I totally agree with the 3 above/below mine. Shared this.

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  7. So interesting!

    Hey, I think I know that girl! The one who batts her eyelids instead of paying for a drink... she's the same one who thinks her plain old rudeness is rendered totally cute simply because she's young and (superficially, at least) attractive. She probably calls herself a feminist, to boot. ;)

  8. I have a thought about helping female bartenders not have to deal with guys, and I'd like to know your thoughts...if the bar was raised so that the bartenders were higher than the patrons, he height thing subconsciously puts men in a submissive mindset and might make them less aggressive, i.e., they won't feel confident enough to waste a female bartenders' time.

  9. This is an interesting idea, but have you thought about how your own expectations affected what happened? If you know there are different expectations for the behaviour of women, you may have unconsciously altered your body language (even if you were using the same words) in ways that changed how you were treated. The differences might not just be down to your appearance.

  10. Interesting...although you're the same person you can't be male and female at the same time and woman are also seen like a product people will want to be near them and a woman will get higher tips than a man, where as a man can be percieved as providing a service people don't feel a need to linger; maybe you should try some other bars and age groups.

  11. I would have tipped the hell out of you in both scenarios!

  12. I would have tipped the hell out of you in both scenarios!

  13. I enjoyed reading your work. I'll come back for more

    Keep up the good work :) from TheStillery Florida

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