Friday, August 21, 2015

Letter to Mens Designers from Someone Without a Penis Who Looks Good in Their Clothes

WARNING: the following article was written after consuming a lot of icecream while listening to SIA and WoodKid on repeat. Therefore it's chock full of concepts and statements that are a little awkward and overly boisterous. Definitely tangential in a bulletpointed way. Most certainly it's a little cocky, but hey- that's the mood I'm in today. So...welcome. 

Dear "Mens" Designers 

What are you afraid of? Why can't you put me in your clothing for advertisements or runway shows? What qualities do men have that I do not?

If you are concerned about the physiological attributes needed to fill out your garments in the most effective way...I get it. Granted I do not have a penis. My pecs aren't firm and square...they're firm and round. Growing facial hair is not my forte and likely not possible without steroids. 

But so what? Is that all your brand means when you wear it? Does it stand for penis, beards, and pecs? Or does it stand for something bigger?

When someone buys a garment or accessory it's because they feel it says something about them that can be heard without even having to vocalize a single word. 

Most times they aren't purchasing an item so that people know they are penis or pec capable. Most times they purchase and don something because it says they are delicate or adventurous or fancy or ready for hard work or efficient or bright and bold. 

Clothing is beyond the basic necessity of protecting our flesh from the elements. It's about creating a microenvironment for ourselves. A safe haven of expectation and culture. 

So what culture are you trying to promote that your clothing is most beneficial in?

Is it that you feel the people wearing your clothing are more likely to attract a sexual partner? Or to put it bluntly.... Do you feel that your wares are supposed to help MEN attract WOMEN? And when you put MODELS in your garments on the runways you are looking for MEN who are already capable of attracting WOMEN and mayyyybe other MEN? Just so it's easier to illustrate your point?

Well if that's the case, then heads up- I fit that check mark. In your clothing, other brands of clothing, and NO clothing I've found I'm more than capable of attracting the WOMEN annnnd MEN that I want. Trust me, I know what women want sexually and emotionally...I am one. And I give them exactly what they need except for a baby biologically. but that saving on birth control and lube sure is a persuasive perk. I could give any male model in your line up a run for their money. 

You may be like...Ok I Get It...You're Gay. Woot. (or whatever your lingo is). But what about actually fitting the clothing? You've got to be tall, toned, broad shouldered. 

Well geez are you in luck! I'm 6'2 so...not to freak you out but just because I have a clitoris does mean it stunted my upward growth. My shoulders? Well they are farmerstyle, broad and toned from years of manual labor. Also surprise but people with ovaries aren't always born into manicures and tea parties. Exhibit A.

Oh what? You want someone who isn't soft and gentle. Delicate or afraid. You want someone who exudes confidence?Someone who you feel can carry you out of a burning building? Someone who is a real gladiator and take a punch? Someone who isn't looking for a break? 

Well while I can certainly play the soft role of letting someone else take the lead. Flipping my three inch long hair to get it out of my eyes and flicking my wrist to emphasize a statement like I'm drunk. Using a slow lean with cleavage like a promise or a badge to coherse someone to treat me better...  I can do all this, but that isn't all I do. While there's nothing wrong with playing on "grace" to get me by- let me tell you, I'm a shrewd business person. I'll do what works to get me further without hurting others or compromising my moral compass. The end goal of creating a safer world is all that matters. 

But don't be afraid of that "soft" side of me. I have many sides. If you were in danger, I have no problem taking a punch for you. I won't leave you behind in the case of a fire...I WILL carry you out. I will defend you in the case of aggression both verbally and physically.

As far as someone who exudes confidence... Confidence comes from being at peace with yourself. Knowing yourself and not being afraid of your limitations. My journey to self discovery as not just someone with female sex organs.. but someone who is sexually interested in other people with female sex organs and on a large public scale has been one that has forced me to be more okay with who I am than most people ever will be. I have to be unapologetically me, or I will drown in other people's disapproval and oppression. I have fought a war that may never end. I'm confident I will continue to do so and nothing you can tell me will make me afraid of you or chip away at my identity. 

If all you are looking for is a label. That term that I'm a Man. If you're just afraid of the whispers that you are not taking your craft seriously by pandering to a woman then Dammit call me a man. I don't care. in all reality... I am nothing. Neither a man nor woman. I am a human. I just have specific anatomical capacities that I am satiated with and do not want to change.

Don't be afraid of my clitoris. It's not my story. 

My story is my path, both past and future. The path I am on, it's limitless. It's infinite. It's unobtainable by another because it's mine. My path is that of a woman only due to my sex organs. But that path tells a story with the characteristics you likely want people to find in your clothing. 

You deserve to have the most success possible. To get there, open yourself up to all possible target audiences and unchain yourself from limitations on your consumer market.

If you're trying to say that someone who wears your clothing is attractive to people with female sex organs, strong, protective, intuitive, successful, treating themselves like a business then look no further. I fit all the criteria. And I can promise you that your company won't fall apart if you hire me. 

Rain Dove

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

6 SHOCKING Things I Can Promise The WORLD

Hate mail. I get it as often as I get the positive mail. Most often these "letters" from people voice disgust over my body, identity, profession, articulation during interviews, fashion choices, activities, and who I choose to date. I have learned over time that what I am receiving is not necessarily even hate mail--- its FEAR mail.

Fear that perhaps I will be a poor addition and influence to their lifestyles and community.

So for all the people that have written me FEAR mail- let me put your fears to rest by making you a few promises that might come as a surprise.

SHOCKINGLY no matter who I choose to share my body or heart with intimately or sexually- I will not lose my ability to respect YOU. To hold loving positive intent for you. To be of a charitable heart to you. To do good will for the world you live in.

AMAZINGLY no matter my ethnicity or how I choose to identify with my ethnicity- I will not lose my ability to respect YOU. To hold loving positive intent for you. To be of a charitable heart to you. To do good will for the world you live in.

INCREDIBLY no matter my economic state in life whether plentiful or skint- I will not lose my ability to respect YOU. To hold loving positive intent for you. To be of a charitable heart to you. To do good will for the world you live in.

MIRACULOUSLY no matter the land I choose to live in, country, state, province, city, town, village, continent- I will not lose my ability to respect YOU. To hold loving positive intent for you. To be of a charitable heart to you. To do good will for the world you live in.

STUNNINGLY no matter what pronoun I prefer to use, if I prefer any at all, I will not lose my ability to respect YOU. To hold loving positive intent for you. To be of a charitable heart to you. To do good will for the world you live in.

SURPRISINGLY no matter what I choose to wear- dress, suit, high heels, work boots, toga, parachute pants, turban, top hat, flower crown, mismatching socks, light up sneakers, flipflops, two piece bathing suit, swim trunks and nothing else, --- ANY GARMENT--  I will not lose my ability to respect YOU. To hold loving positive intent for you. To be of a charitable heart to you. To do good will for the world you live in.

I promise to YOU- all of you- that no matter these factors I will continue to operate with a loving heart and positive intent to make the world you live in a brighter and kinder world. I can guarantee that none of the above factors will change this--- so stop worrying about them. Stop worrying about how much money I earn, who I sleep with, what Im wearing, where Im living... they dont affect you. They dont matter. All that matters is that I am a HUMAN BEING wishing you WELL and doing acts of GOOD to make the world a better place.

Join me?


Rain Dove
The Human

Thursday, March 5, 2015



I post a photo wearing $5k outfit... 300 Likes.

I post a photo donating $5k from selling that item to a 

homeless shelter organization... 45 Likes.

Im not looking for applause or validation from the world. But I

 am wishing that people valued GOOD ACTIONS as highly 


 I challenge you to challenge norms and make 


by LIKING them.

I know it isnt as pretty to see someone at an animal shelter

 as it is to see them at brunch or the salon. 

I know that I knoyou might feel like...

damn I hate seeing heavy issues with the world 


Maybe sometimes you even feel like 

"what a self righteous a**hole, 

posting about themselves helping someone- do they

 think they are better than me?" 

Or whatnot.




Be beautiful by BEING BEAUTIFUL
Thank You.

Saturday, January 10, 2015




After a full evening of bartending as both male and female, I had some interesting observations and a WINNER of the sex battle. Now this is important to note that the bar chosen was HOOK AND CLEAVER in Greenpoint, Brooklyn. The typical crowd is 25-45 years old and are coming in for dinner and cocktails. The pricepoint average is $15 per cocktail and $50 for dinner. This is not a club environment. Also I alternated gender every hour and fifteen minutes to even out the gender representation throughout the night... for a more consistent notation. (Gender meaning as female I was higher voice, shirt showed cleavage, slight makeup and softer mannerisms... male meaning suit and tie, lower voice, heavier mannerisms no makeup.)



-I could work, without need to make conversation and no one would question me. Looking busy meant not being available for entertainment. Which also meant--- people would not stay and watch me work--- which meant higher turnover of checks and instant cash.

-Men and women trusted me to make them classic cocktails. They never asked what I was putitng into them or why I was doing them a certain way. Older men would just belly up to the bar and ask for a drink, and whatever they threw out there such as AVIATOR, GIMLET, OLD FASHIONED they  would just demand it. They would not ask me "Do you know how to make this drink?"


-If I messed up on a drink, I got a harder time. Twice I made a mistake intentionally, and both times the recipient would chew me out over it. "Whats wrong with you? Are you sure your a bartender?" or "Come on, pay attention to what you are doing!"

-My tips were small- often $1 or $2 on a $15 cocktail.

-If someone wanted something from me, they would ask directly "Hey you- can you do this?"

-Younger ladies a few times would assume that their drinks were free or would not tip at all. At one point, a girl received her dink and turned around to walk away from the bar. I had to ask her to pay me. She batted her eyes and said "Awww... but arent I worth it?"

-I tried telling a pushier customer who was teasing me about my soft voice to 'Hush and drink their cocktail." They caleld over the manager. it was ugly.



-Large tips $4 or $5 on a  $15 cocktail. Often people just left a twenty on the bar for every drink they had.

-Whenever someone asked me to do someting for them they would ask very poltiely 'If its not too much trouble could I get... please".

-Mistakes are forgiven easily. I intentially made 3 mistakes as a female, and every time the person said "Its alright! Just next time Id love the drink  actually ordered."

-I received a lot of compliments... every time I made a cocktail, people would tell me how well it was constructed as if they were surprised. Theis never happened as male.

-I received a lot of free shots ordered by both men and women, who often would get them at the end of their meals or drink experiences. Liquoring me up eh?

-If someone was rude, I could flirtatiously be like "Aww stop it, shut up and drink your cocktail." and it was considered cute and acceptable.


-People stayed at the bar. They wouldnt leave. They got their cocktails and watched me work. Even when I ignored them, they stayed..and watched. Almost every single person whop came into the establishment made a beeline for an open stool to stay at the bar instead of at a table... but they would not leave.

-Whenever an older male ordered a cocktail, they would often ask "Do you know how to make a---" as if there was a potential I might not. This did not happen as a male.

-People would flirt, which isnt such a bad thing... but it made it difficult to work. When I was busy, one guy even grumbled "What Im boring you or something? Why cant yo talk to me?"...because I working.... duh. As a Male I could appear busy and I didnt appear rude.


Well the interesting thing is that as a female, I was receiving larger tips. Including that $60 tip on a $40 ticket. However, while the tips were often much bigger... people would tend to stay at the bar to eat and watch me make cocktails. There was a high turn over, which meant while teh cheks were big they werent frequent. When it came to being a male... the tips were almost 50% less. However, people would not stay to watch me make drinks or flirt with me or hang out in general. I could appear busy without seeming rude- and that meant a higher turnover of checks.

FEMALE: $210 in tips

MALE: $340 in tips


Im the SAME PERSON.... dont I deserve the SAME money?

 What does this say about society? Leave a comment and give me your feedback!

(NOTE: This was one night, in one location, done by one person, with specific aesthetics. It does not represent all of the world or America or even Brooklyn. Nor does it represent all women or men or bars. But--- its still pretty damned neat.)


For those of you who are new to who I am, My name is Rain Dove- Rain like from the sky, Dove like the bird. I am an androgynous model and actor working both male and female roles. Outside of my professional life- I carry these gender bending capabilites into the daily activities. I like to call it GENDER CAPITALISM... which means I present myself as whichever gender gets the most out of an envionment, person, or space. Money, love, respect... I dont care if you think I have dick or a vagina... or if you think I have boobs or pecs--- what does it matter? And if it DOES matter... then I want to know why, and I want to know which gender spectrum you feel most comfortable with so I can get the most from our interactions.

In my opinion, it shouldnt matter what gender I am or how I orgasm. But even in our MODERN DAY SOCIETY it still does... and what you have between your legs can defintiely change what you have between people contractually and socially. I dont believe that only two genders exist... but for teh sake of easy conversation Ill use male/female for this writeup.)

Since I am in the unique position to be seen as both a tall dark and mysterious man... and an elegant, highend, edgy female- I decided that something bigger than fashion and film should be done with these looks. I want people to see the way we treat others based on gener, based on perception, based on silly anatomy and hormones. So, I have begun conducting social experiements to determine the TRUE battle of the sexes these days.


Instagram: @raindovemodel
Twitter: raindovemodel